Towayam?

Have just survived 2 and a half days with my parents.

All attempts to beg John to fly down and drive back with us were rebuffed under the very flimsy excuse of, "Jamie, last minute one-way tickets are way too much." "You are going to have to be a big girl and tough this out by yourself."

hmmp! i hate it when he is in one of his very practical, we really need to reduce our debt modes.

These days spent with rents have had very nice pool experiences. That is until those pesky FL afternoon thunderstorm appear like clockwork. Those sun stealing party-poopers rearing their very ugly "every one get out of the pool" cumulonimbus heads.

But being chased from pool had upside. This allowed for very nice visit with cousin late today. We were born within 2 months of each other and she really is like third sister. Our conversation eventually meandered around to "25-er" for high school this fall. The dreaded 25th reunion. Sal said, " she was in -- if i was in."

Guess i am in. i think.

While over at her house met other gal whose husband had been SMU with me. So asked my amazingly organized mom over dinner, "Where are my SMU yearbooks?"

Well.... dug around up in tippy-top of some darkened closet and they were stacked exactly where she said -- as well as all my high school ones.

i brought all 8 huge volumes down -- 4 WPHS books and 4 SMU and started glancing through them. I honestly haven't looked through these High School things in 25 years.

i kept groaning and laughing as i turned each page. it is sooo unbelievable -- i just had to write something. i don't even know a picture that could depict these weirdo emotions. Unfortunately if something could come to me, i seem unable to snatch any image off the internet for this post for my parents are still on dial up. or some other technical difficulty.

Therefore anyone who is reading will probably stop here -- not that i blame you...

but here as i sit in my house, in my room, on my bed, looking at this stuff -- i can't not write about it. think this will be for my own personal time capsule. For what is so astounding is for how monumentally important all this yearbook and high school stuff seemed back then...i absolutely have no memory of so much of it.

Now i must have looked at these books countless times -- probably here in same room -- for i remember so many of these photographic images. Correction -- i think i remember every picture on all 425 pages of my Senior Year Towayam. and really, what the hell is a Towayam? i must find former yearbooker at reunion to ask if they in anyway know meaning. bizarre.

Yes, all these pictures look familiar -- and the people do..

It's just when i start reading. Reading the volumes of stuff that people wrote. It was soooo important to fill up as many of those pages with ballpoint scrawl for of course that proved how immensely well liked you were. i guess.

i do remember that much -- that back then-- filling up yearbook with wellwishes was very, very important.

So now to the point of this little timewarp slash timenote to myself. How come i don't know what the heck these people are talking about?

Open to a page any page ....hmmm...

ok -- lots of individual pictures with girls with farrah hair and guys with goofy smiles.

open again... mentions 1980 - 81 trivia. john lennon's assassination. (assassination?) Devo big thing on charts. a huge picture of the Boss (now on tour again -- must go see) Oakland won the Super Bowl.

one more time. ok ...here we go: Tracy, (all these things start with Tracy).... lots of writing then,

Tracy, it seems like you've come a long way through High School. I love seeing you so confident and more sure of yourself." good grief! who the heck is she talking about? come a long way -- i was 18. love seeing me so confident. i was actually petrified to pump my own gas for fear that i would look like a fool.

Tracy: thanks for treating me like one of everyone else. i really love ya, thanks for all the help in the group and just for someone to talk to. lots of love... signed his name and address. Absolutely no idea what he is talking about or who he is. i am little concerned about him. hope it turned out ok. most probably did -- for aren't all teenagers overly drama and angst.

Lots of references to Good Luck in Dallas and SMU and phone numbers. Wonder if the numbers are still current?

ok -- here's one Tony Ta, very smart guy (i do remember that) -- i always made friends with the smarts ones. he wrote quite the nice blog about me as i reread it now. He refers to the time we made trig/analyt 2nd team. i honestly forgot i ever took such things. and quite frankly question that i did. he mentions a Spanish Conference and Student Council Conference. on and on. no memory whatsoever.

Here's another.. "you are really strange collins! i mean, gosh -- who else would wear pig-tails, glasses, no shorts, no shirt -- but an apron & bathing suit! ....hmmmm...i am wracking my brain. absolutely no memory of what she is talking about. she goes on talking about all the roller coasters we rode. i honestly hope these coaster rides were not in my apron moment.

Tracy.... a long note ends this way.. (Hope your minister in Dallas is as good-looking as the one you left behind!) oh dear. now i supposedly had this very nice-looking -- and am sure very reverent -- pastor whom i have absolutely no memory of. bummer.

Another ...Tracy........"you've changed from that quiet friend in the 9th grade to a young woman who knows what she wants." a young woman who knows what she wants? hope she wasn't referring to any members of the clergy? totally kidding. i guess.

i will mercifully stop all this now -- for it is getting silly.

Oh dear is right. How can i not remember any of this stuff?

i am not laughing so much now. Guess the shock of all it has worn off.

Reading all this stuff. Lots and lots of references to all this confidence that i supposed gained since the 9th grade. i must have been some confident Senior. Wonder where all that confidence went? yes -- really would want to be that 18-year-old girl that everyone was gushing about. Have no memory of her either. Pitty really. Where the heck did she go?

Maybe we were going on ad nauseam about all being so strong and so go chicks because we were on the brink of going off on our own-- scattered across the country -- and none of us felt very strong, sure of ourselves, and in no way confident. Must have been one of those things where if you say something enough times to yourself, you think it eventually must become a reality.

The good thing is though i don't remember much of what i supposedly did so confidently -- i do remember so many of those dears who wrote betwixt the pages of my Towayam. Get Christmas notes from them every year. Email some.

Lessons learned from this weird-o-rama look into past:

For one who thought she had pretty good memory....i have a dreadfully, horrid one.

Things that seem so important in the present, really won't matter all that much in 20 years.

The one thing that is lasting in my life is my wonderful friends -- though i have no recollection why?

Maybe should try to resurrect this confident Tracy gal for reunion. What would she wear?

Query: Will it still be warm enough in Florida in October for pigtails, glasses, no shorts, no shirt -- just apron and bathing suit?