Pardon me, Boy... Up for a Party Pic?

hmmm...


"Jake, i need your help!"

i just had to call my almost 13-year-old son down stairs to help open one of those mega-size Walmart apple juices. i tried using the ever popular dish towel method -- dish towel wrapped around neck of plastic bottle in hopes of getting traction. but failed. i tried and tried. and just couldn't do it. i felt just a tad weakish.

i am a tad weakish.

am feeling effects of completing Chattanooga Triathlon at present. and looking at the pictures -- can't really believe all that happened to today -- for i am getting so old. and i feel it at present.

Yes, this is how the day started. Guess it was 6 a.m. something at this point. have already been up for hours for i remember looking at hotel alarm and it read 2:45 a.m. -- and i never went back to sleep.

i did lie there real quiet like. For i knew there was no way i was going back to sleep. but maybe if i lay still enough -- it would be so close to sleeping -- my body wouldn't know the difference.

but around 5 a.m. the alarm did go off -- and the hotel phone did ring. for even though i knew there is no way i will sleep before these things -- one always needs to have double safeguard wakeup in place. a fact which john mercilessly teases me about.

yes, here i stood. Bodymarked, half-eaten bagel in hand, Martha Stewart jailbird anklet timing chip on, pink swim cap/goggles in hand, premo Walmart racewatch and the number 43 Sharpie-d on my left calf. This is helpful -- for during the race i can always glance down for constant reminder of how old i am and really how stupid i am for doing this.

and after looking at decades of pictures of myself -- i have the look of "guess, i really am here and going to do this.." in my eyes. not really the eye of the tiger.

After this picture, we boarded our Tennessee School System yellow bus and were ferried a mile upstream to large park -- where we were to hop in lovely Tennessee River to hopefully swim the mile back to our bikes.

i tried to do all the right things before the race. Trained a lot. tried to remember all my stuff in packing last minute on dash to Chattanooga. it is always fun to pull up to hotel -- when all the gunners are unloading their "stuff". and all the $3,000 - $4,000 bikes. john even said -- "dang, your bike looks like a Ford." ok -- i love Fords -- and guess he had forgotten that he drives one.

Had the pre-race meeting/dinner with Coach Karen and Rick, johnny and our new friend/Steve Martin look alike Tom. Old friend of Coach K/R from Lawrenceville Methodist. Accountant, very nice guy and also fast runner. great. everyone i meet at these things is a fast runner.

Have most excellent meal of penne pasta. i had a couple of glasses of courage -- for i am secretly worried about that swim. i really thought i was going to drown in last race at St. Pete on April 30 and if totally honest i was little squeamish at thought of getting in water under race conditions.

re photo -- i am bent down way funny, because Karen had just remarked how she was only one sitting down. Tom is standing way off because he didn't feel as if he should be in picture, but we ended up seeing him constantly over the next 16 or so hours -- so he really became old friend.

jSo on race morning made it up to the Swim Start in bus and hung out a long while. I waited for hours for lovely minute in porta-potty. i didn't make such a wait before the start of St. Anthony's. Big Mistake for once that race starts you are moving for 3 hours.

But God is always good and in spite of my anxiousness about swim experience -- i started to see lots of friends.

Looking at these pictures -- they remind me of those "PARTY PICS" they used to snap at college frat/sorority functions. Everyone standing around smiling with their arms around one another. at SMU you would be talking (or whatever with friends) and guy with camera would appear. everyone would spontaneously yell, "party pic," throw arms around one another, smile, a flash would spontaneously errupt and then all would party on... i guess?

Party Pic #1--

Mad's own Elizabeth Branch. Ok -- this totally reminds me of like a tri swimma runna sorority big sister/little sister function snap.

Elizabeth, you of course are my much younger and much faster lil sis.

but because you are so nice, so pretty and well, one of the sisterhood -- i am not in anyway jealous of your athletic genetic superiority. after many conversations with you -- i also suspect that you are also way smarter. But, i will always be older. (why does that point always bring so much glee to a 8-year- old gloating over a 5-year-old?)

yes -- gave you a very big sorority gal hug and then Elizabeth lined up with her nice brother and the other 200s.

i then looked for more friends to socialize with for that is always good antidote for anxious waiting.

Party Pic #2

Met up with Coach Rick for final race briefing and new bestest accountant friend Tom. ok -- i am so laughing at this picture. Rick -- you could totally be my big brother if i was little sister to your tri-fraternity. But what is so hysterical is i actually think we look like some very well-preserved couple that has been married for 35-something years and Tom is our older, prematurely graying son.

Rick had to leave soon after this shot to line up as his race number was in the 90s -- Tom got to wait around like me for he was in the 600s.





Party Pic #3




Wade Wilson. Husband to the adorable Barbara, father of 3, accountant, piano man to the PRUMC Family Builders SS class -- and crazy tri-guy. Seem to bump into you at these things -- remember seeing you at my 1st attempt at one of these races with Mad Broadway Joe. Now you are way out of my league in these things -- already done one 1/2 ironman this summer and plan to do second -- but it is always fun to catch up with one of my Mad Peachtree Road Pals.

Barbara said that you were shooting for a full ironman next summer -- in Switzerland. Good Grief! don't think i will tri for that one -- the swim must be terribly frigid -- even with sealsuit. Just what is it about accounting that drives perfectly normal number people to swim, bike and run? you probably like figuring out all that minutes per mile stuff. averages, etc.

After quick chat, wade then went and got in his place in line with the 500s . And pretty soon it was my turn as well...............

"Take me to the river, drop me in the water
Push me in the river, dip me in the water..
Washing me down, washing me... talking heads

but i totally love Annie Lenox's remake of this song. so much that i just stopped and found her and put her on.

Yes, it was finally time for #657 (me) to find #656 and #658 and march down the steps to the River.


and if you look closely the tiny little blue dots on out side of dock are swim caps. (lots of blue -- men) We all filed down. Dropped in the water. and hung on the dock, hustling down in order till they called your number -- and yelled,

"Go." and with that "Go" you released hold of the dock -- and in my case -- were in continual motion for the next 3 hours.

Very much like we were all lined up to jump out of airplane -- all taking off into the great wide blue open for an adventure one by one.

Except we weren't thousands of feet up in the air. thankfully and we didn't had parachutes on -- which would have been dreadful to swim in.

After my swim experience in St. Pete -- i was little anxious. would i freak? i do have enormous capacity to freak out at most inopportune moments in life. but a funny thing happened.

i let go of dock -- and it was really awesome. the swim was really crazy fun.





yes, here we all go down the river. we all started # 1 - 1000. Guess we didn't end up at the dock in same order, but it was really cool. No mass chaos at start -- only a little kicking. it never ceases to amaze me how in middle of all that water -- you find other people. But getting kicked is all part of fun... i guess?

Yes, under three or so sets of large expanse of bridge we swam trying to stay to the left of the large orange buoys. since i have horrible habit of only being able to breathe on left -- remember looking up at huge houses perched up on bluff as we chugged along. The wise "swim rap" in line was to stay as close to the middle of river as the buoys would let you for there the current was strongest. The current was all of our God given friend -- that morning.

then the buoys started getting narrower and narrower -- trying to shepherd us to the dock. and the end of swim. that is where i made lots of news friends. Actually, just met their legs and feet. but that was ok -- because i was at end -- and made it to dock. to be pulled out by two saviors.

yes, here i go. very happy to be out of swim.

running along.

running up, up, up steps back to the transition.

put on socks, bike shoes, helmet, sunglasses, take my first packet of GU with me to down on ride.

and off i go.

don't really have any pictures of me on the bike. which is just as well. this race -- the bike -- was my very weak spot. you see they have these things in Tennessee called hills.

had heard that this was great flat course along river. well, There was new bike course this year to allow for more athletes in race. and they found hills -- mountains -- actually.

good grief! and looking at list of my fellow age groupers... i actually fared pretty well against them in swim. am kind of proud. but they creamed me on that blasted bike. They must get lots of work on those hills. guess i need to start adding more hills to my rides. ugh~! i added 10 minutes or so to bike from the time i did in April race. bummer.

guess the Lord giveth with awesome swim (lovin' that current) -- and taketh away (wicked hills and wicked wind for very avg. bike gal)

got back from bike. took off helmet, bike shoes. Laced up my Nikes, had another GU and set off for run.

Here i am leaving for 6.2 mile run. Resetting my watch so i can check on how slow i am going. yes, off to run up those blessed steps from the netherworld and up a few more hills. in the heat. another ugh!

Yet, in all honesty the great thing about the run is that it is usually an out-and-back. All this out-and back stuff means you get to see all your buddies -- and really everyone in general kind of tries to encourage each other. old friends and brand new ones.

Saw Coach Rick just as i was starting out. i was thankfully going down the hill he was coming back up. We kind of laughed.

Heard "Hey, Go Jamie!" and it was the amazing Elizabeth charging up that same hill. Gave you something back like, "looking strong! for you were. can't hate you -- it's your genetics right?

"Hey, Jamie!" saw dear Wade. you were blazing too. i tried some feeble attempt at a fiver, but you were going so fast and i was so tired that our hands just kind of weirdly knocked together.

then saw Tom. now Tom had truly passed me somewhere along route for know you started with 600s. We made some joke about the run being hell as you dashed by. Probably was hell for you too -- but you seemed to be maneuvering through fire and brimstone more deftly than i.

Finally reach 3.1 and got to turn around. passed very large (6'5'') guy with 43 on his calf. as i was walking later -- he passed me and said, " come on -- you're my inspiration." didn't have energy to tell him his inspiration was on scheduled 1 minute walk break -- but i appreciated the encouragement.

i just wanted to finish at that point. i just wanted all 1000 of us to finish. guess, just not 999 in front of me.

and i finally did. After swimming 1 miles, biking 25 miles through hell and running 6.2 miles.

3 hours and 2 minutes after letting go of that dock.

yes, that darn UGA tri-chick.

couldn't quite get past her before the finish. guess she must have passed me somewhere along the route.

but after all she is official collegiate tri-gal and probably has a 20-something on her left calf.

and as tired as i look --

i felt really great. john came up to me seconds later and pointed out vomit to be avoided on pavement. seems like there had been lots of that going on after finish.

No, i didn't lose my bagel and 2 GU packets on sidewalk after race, but i think i gave pretty much all i could have given darn it!

Post race thoughts:

Guess all this triathlon is pretty crazy, very mid-life crisis thing. Wade admitted same was true for him. Wade who took off for a post race ride to get ride of the lactate built up in his legs. i just took about 10 motrin.

But i felt awesome after race. Very thankful i did it -- but there were moments during that bike i seriously questioned my ability to do this and my sanity.

Felt awesome and thankful about my friends and just the darn camaraderie of the whole tri-experience.

and mostly thankful for TEAM MILES. Especially team trainer/photographer johnny. think it is time for you to do one of these things. yes, you will kick mine all around in head-to-head competition -- but i still will be Mad for you -- for you are the only one on face of planet -- that could put up with all my Madness and still love me so.

guess bye Chattanooga and onto Sandestin.......... and Party Pics a plenty!