Mstone 6.4.06 -- Spread Love Everywhere You Go.

ok -- john is somewhere in the middle east (most middle eastern part of Georgia).. that is

i am home alone needing to fend for self for dinner. tried a few things, but then just had to finish up with some Oreo ice cream.

Glad john is not here, because he will not have to suffer the incessant, complaining that i:
a. had the ice cream,
b. had too much of the ice cream, and
c. now hate myself for eating the ice cream.

why do i really bring it into the house? have no self discipline whatsoever -- at least some nights.

But needed "carrot" to get Joe and HK out of Coach Karen's pool, so i suggested that HK could pick out ice cream at the store.

This was such a no-brainer on my part. For sure that by the time we got to store -- exhaustion would have come crashing in on their tiny bodies. The shopping jaunt would be done, but horrendous. Rabid childern running up and down aisles of store, not minding harried solo mom, who still reeked of chlorine, sported wet hair and flattering massive raccoon indentations under eyes caused by goggle pressure.

Totally sure they would be hiding and dodging between every rack of cool Georgia Bulldog athletic wear, Mary kate and Ashley bohemian preteen garb and the for the most part benign -- but occasionally shocking display -- of Walmart's take on Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie.

Yes, knew they would misbehave, therefore would never have to even go down frost-bite alley. .

But -- i was out-witted, outsmarted. They behaved like little angels. Saw Shelby's mom and dad and they were perfect dolls. hmm.

so home we came with the ice cream. ok -- am partly to blame. HK who earned the right to select flavor -- going by picture on carton fixated on some lactose free vanilla product.

let's not get crazy. if we are going to have ice cream in fridge -- it might as well be worth the calorie consumption or temptation.

so put small 2 to bed. opened current MORE magazine for my monthly, "oh it's so great to be over 4o fix." and started enjoying my ice cream.

back in mind was that i really should start to try to formulate something to say re today's Milestone class -- taught most adeptly by Rick Wadsworth. but was enjoying ice cream, libation, over 40 empowerment, and Better than Ezra.

ok -- i love that (awawawawa,wahow) thing he does. "it was good....awwawawa, wahow. awhh, huuh....so good." (awwawawa) "good, good, good, good, good, good, good."

he says "it was good" a lot in that song. and that ice cream was so good.

i wanted more, knew i shouldn't but it was so good. and that is when the silly marriage analogy hit me.

i love ice cream. i mean good ice cream, not lactose free vanilla.

and as i was enjoying mindless spoonful after, mindless spoonful reading about how great Emily Lou Harris is and her new duets with Mark Knopfler -- i realized. hmmm. this ice cream really isn't tasting as great as it was with those first few wonderful, lustful spoonfuls.

the ultra-controlled (which i am most definitely not) take few bites -- or none at all and remain very distant from any and all true ice enjoyment. Very self controlled. hmm.

the self-satisfying ultra-selective food consumer would think, "that was great, but you know this really isn't having the same effect on me as those first few bites. i need to pitch this and look for something else..something salty this time that would recharge my taste buds.

or the more self--indulgent type (me) would say -- after finishing and enjoying a nice small portion -- i'm just not be satisfied without more. and after all john is not here.. so i had more and now am slightly sick. hate it when that happens!

now if i had just taken my time. not got preoccupied in all that MORE madness, and enjoyed each little allotted spoonful in time. i would have had my sweet fix, felt satisfied and in control and not -- overindulged and disillusioned -- once again shaking my head over my shortcomings.

Selfish preoccupation resulting in overconsumption usually results in my feeling yucky -- whether in issues of ice cream or ...................

Milestone Class 6.4.06

We are wrapping the marriage portion -- of our summer's journey to get to know ourselves better.

Rick Wadsworth took over the reigns from Terry Massey and was most excellent facilitator.

Class was opened with a review of the 5 love languages..

Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Gifts
Acts of Service

Rick got that old proverbial discussion ball rolling by giving a personal Wadsworth example. Washing dishes. Yes, here are Max, Curry, Jay and sure Rick just out of camera range -- all busily washing those dishes for most deserving mommy Leanne.

Trouble is -- though that was very nice, and am sure very appreciated -- acts of service was not Leanne's primary love speak.

After all those dishes were done and they got a moment to sit down and chat -- it turned out that -- Quality Time was what our gal really needed.

A realization which Rick then challenged the group with -- now that we know our own preferred way to be "stroked" -- what is our spouse's?

For over the long haul -- or in the Long Run as the Eagles sang (and made lots of money on) -- keeping our spouse emotionally happy is critical to a healthy marriage.

Ruth Bearden brought up point that we tend to communicate to our spouse in our language -- rather than theirs. Good point Ruth, but if anyone is guilty of that most probably is not you. but that is just guess.

Pete B. suggested to treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated.

think this was not reference to another love language misconnect -- but rather a reference to the Matt. 7:12.
"Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Many gave examples of how they have found that their love language has changed. Dena Lewis commented on how each of their children -- and even though being very young -- have very differing ways they express love.

Ron Lewis shared how it is not about, "what i want -- all the time." that he has to turn down the TV and give Dena her Quality Time.

Rick mentioned how especially when we have children -- we need to make sure some of our emotional energy and attention is saved for our spouse.

Ron and Rick -- both empathized that it is hard work at times. Ruth -- "you have to keep at it."

That is where the Love Busters come in.

Selfish Demands: Attempts by your spouse to force you to do something for him/her, usually with implied threats of punishment if you refuse. (think about how often this occurs and what forms these demands take)

Disrespectful judgments: Attempts by your spouse to change your attitudes, beliefs and behaviors by trying to force you into his/her way of thinking.
1. lectures instead of respectful discussion.
2. feel opinion is superior to yours.
3. talks over you or prevents you from having a chance to explain your position, or
4. Ridicules your point of view. (how often/what forms)

Angry Outbursts: Deliberate attempts by your spouse to hurt you because of anger toward you. They are usually in form of verbal or physical attacks.

Dishonesty: Failure of spouse to reveal his/her thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities and plans for the future. This is providing false information on these topics, and also leaving a false impression.

Annoying Habits: Behavior repeated by your spouse without much thought that it bothers you. These habits include personal mannerisms such as the way your spouse eats, cleans up after himself, and talks.

Independent Behavior: Behavior conceived and executed by your spouse without consideration of your feelings. These behaviors are usually scheduled and require thought to complete, such as attending sports events or engaging in a personal exercise program. ok -- have always been tad independent.


Yes, as Rick said at the end of class, sometimes it seems that it would be easier to breakup than to stay together. Marriage is work -- at times. and at other times -- it is really great.

like Ice Cream........

rather than being so controlled or so self-indulgent you can just sit and enjoy the bowl.

If you find yourself in the marriage crowd -- it could be like having the greatest bowl of ice cream in front of you.

Some of us are too controlled to interact with it. No way would risk too much pleasure or calorie consumption.

Some of us are too selfish to not just be happy with great ice cream taste -- wanting to sample other foods -- after the intial sugar rush is gone.

Some of us are too self-indulgent and want it all. Finish our bowl and just can't stop there. we need more.

When all we really need to do is stop being so selfish and enjoy each wonderful bite that God has placed before us. Eph 4:11-13

ok -- enough pop psychology from me.

Bob Dickson will turn our focus to interacting with our children next week.

Many thanks Rick....

Announcements:

Mstone treasurer Chanin Gill opened up the class discussion about our very ample monetary surplus.

Seems like there were lots of good suggestions:

Pete: something for Confirmation Class. Mary DeVane mentioned that whatever we decided to do, need to remember this most probably will become an expected offering for the confirmands. Lisa Wilson suggested something for the youth space that will be in new construction.

Chanin: we could purchase fans for those who are unable to do so -- to make this heat little more bearable.

Shelly: we will need to front money for cookbooks -- $2,500.

Mary D: Angel Food ministries.

Katie Anderson: the Latino ministry in Athens and the Honduras mission trip.

me: helping defray mission trip cost for those needing a little help.


Mgal tri-update -- Crystal River, FL

here's our very own Kat and Shelagh with Angela (i think..) before tri-race. all very relaxed and sporting eye of the tiger.

and afterwards in the glow of completing great athletic experience.

am so proud of all of you. how about all mgals shoot for a road trip next year!

need to fill at least 2 or 3 cars. always can use more athletes in team Mgal, official photogs, sunworhippers, or anyone else in need of an escape for whatever reason!

Cookbooks

ok -- just left Stephanie Dickson madly helping out at Beauty and Beast production. taking perfect program shots of the star. and she reminded me of Mstone cookbook preparations.

please get her those recipes by July 15. This is critical to meet Christmas sales -- which am sure will be bonanza!

thanks to Steph for all you and your committee has done.

Will try to end this note with wise words much sager than mine. Have these words taped up in kitchen and over sink in bathroom:

Spread love everywhere you go.
first of all, in your own house.

Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.

Be the living expression of God's kindness, kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your greeting. Mother Teresa.


God Bless. Good Week. Go forth and be kind..first of all in your own house.

ok -- i fail miserably at this countless times daily, but guess it is worth a shot. love to all. j.