Spin to Win?

8:15 p.m.

What a time for a game to start.

I was also responsible for the drinks.

Now in our checkered ballgame history here in Morgan County, i must admit to in the past committing the unforgivable sin -- forgetting my night to bring drink/snacks.

In all candor, seems like this foul is much more egregious with the much younger (those across the by-pass baseballers) game crowd -- or should i say with their mothers. hmm..

"You were the snack mom? "You forgot?"Remember one such mother said very dramatically, loudly with eyes rolling back into skull -- all the while looking down at small child who was holding her hand. "He's so disappointed."

looking at wee one, thought he looked much more disinterested than heartsick about the whole thing. But no matter what little effect was on small child... i was scarred for life. And i've never, ever forgotten the drinks again.

well, almost never.

But tonight, was a good night. i remembered. Felt quite confident really.

i was confident that i had plenty of hydration for those thirsty baseballers. Because as a result of my past "snack mom" game shortcomings, i now compulsively over buy. The date has been circled in red on the calendar for months.

"DRINKS" written in red on 5/30. Must admit sometimes get a little confused and in all honesty disappointed -- when i remember inked reminder has to do a ballgame, not highball. but let's just keep that our little secret.


Now where were we? Oh yes, tonight.......

Got to game. Pulled 2 8-eight packs Gatorade from back hatch. "ugh!" These things are horrifically heavy. but as was teetering and toting them across the street -- noticed this really was great bicep workout.

Amazing! not only am i somewhat on time, have remembered drinks -- i am incredibly multitasking!

i am projecting image of buttoned-up, pulled together mom who remembered drinks and all as i get an additional 50 reps of arm curls.

Guess the irony is that all this over-confidence -- really has very deep-seated roots in shameless insecurity. Hard to forget the glares, whispers and months of sitting at home for fear that would be recognized as "the mom" that forgot the after-gamer baseball treats.

No, tonight was really feeling self-assured. And why shouldn't i be?

i had plenty of drinks.

i had the right date.

i was there on time....at least before end of game.

i had joined ranks of the mega multi-taskers!

Monumental day really. Felt like such the accomplished robo-mom!

Wasn't thinking about how left home in dreadful ransacked mess. That didn't matter. What mattered at moment was to outside world -- i was very pulled together, multi-accomplished, magna cum laude baseball snack-providing mom!



The rare pregame shower enjoyed while being pleasured by stiff-drink of pregame powerade really does work wonders. i felt like a new woman!

Yes, i showed up with my Gatorade and was met very joyfully, by my 2 little baby birds. Who began to chirp, beg, fight, wrestle relentlessly for a drink. What was i thinking? Of course they would want one. 2-packs of colored libation in front of their little thirsty, dirt-smudged beaks.

"Mommy," "Mommy" "Can we have a drink?" "Can we have a drink?" "PLEASE..........."

insistently, insistently chirping. Ok .. Let's see.

Eight times 2 is 16. 16 bottles.

this is baseball, therefore at least have to come up with nine drinks at end of game. Am sure there are few more than 9 on team. 16 - 9 = 7. Right? Seven over the known quantity i know i have to have.

ok -- think i can let the parched wee ones split bottle. If i am short -- Jake can do with out.

So for the next 10 minutes Joe and Hannie passed, somewhat sloshed the shared fitness thirst quencher between them, and then it was empty.

an empty bottle.

needing to find it's way to a trash can.

Hannie jumped up and said, "i'll throw it away."

I was so pleased. Just a tad smug really. Gazing upon her, she looked so cute. Was sporting new wispy bang-type things that i noticed for the first time while serving her a pancake this morning.

Was kind of traumatized initially -- but actually her impromptu shearing of her hair -- turned out well. i was thinking..She looks so darling with bangs, why hadn't i thought it sooner?

Everything was coming together, i was the mother i always dreamt i could be... It was all just hovering right above my perfectly coifed hairdo.. to reach out and grab. Life was my oyster..or something like that.

HK turns toward massive grandstand crowd and tips up empty plastic gator-container, playfully taps it before the finally triumphant toss into rec. dept. trash receptor and in precocious 5-year-speak, queries....

"Mommy, Daddy" -- "Can we play Spin-the-Bottle?"

The collective gasp from the crowd was rather like the air massively inhaled in some enormous Lockheed windshear tunnel.

"What?" i whisper. The wee thing frightened by incredibly loud air-sucking mass gasping sound ran straight to Dad and buried her tiny newly shorn hair into his chest.

"Hannie, where did you here about Spin-the-Bottle?" i feared to ask. Had some horrible scenario involving strangers roaming our hood been hidden from me -- the new and improved June Cleaver?

"Nickelodeon," the grandmotherly type behind us uttered-knowingly to the hushed bleacher bunch.

"Hannie, where did you hear about "Spin the Bottle?" To which she sheepishly replied, "46."

Channel "46." OK -- they are only supposed to watch "44" or "12." Nickelodeon indeed!

hmm. Zoey 101, the Fairly Odd Parents, not SpongeBob?

Talk about deflated. Felt about like some gigantic Marge Simpson balloon that got caught on some type of light fixture on Thanksgiving in Macy's Square... well, it wasn't pretty. and i didn't feel to super mom-ish at that point either. Suddenly the next 10 years flashed before me and i felt woefully unprepared and dreadfully behind the eight ball.

i asked, calmly, "HK what is spin-the-bottle?"

"A game."

"You spin the bottle and if it lands on an 11 you win. if it lands on a 1, you get a do-over."

hmmm, "an 11--you win." "a 1 -- do-over."

Funny -- guess if one was really in throws of spinning bottleware game and found it had indeed landed on a "one." ouch! you really would like a re-spin. hmm, clever girl.

Not that i have ever been anywhere near spinning bottle -- anytime lately that is -- except those horrific days when recyclables are spilling, spinning everywhere trying to tote out to curb.

My little angel and "spin-the-bottle." Think her concept of game was very little league.

But guess before long it will be dramatically different. it will be the Big Leagues indeed. Guess Jake is on threshold if not over. Glad he was on field during bottle conversation... Don't need to be giving him any ideas.

No our little Hannie won't be young forever. Wonder what June or Marge would do?

First, guess i shouldn't tell anyone about this. Her play dates might evaporate as quickly as the water i am desperately trying to sprinkle on my now Southern California lawn. this might even affect her dates for prom. Well, she might get more inquiries, but don't think they might be from the boys we would like as much.

Second, maybe get myself reacquainted with our vast preschooler library. haven't pulled those out as much lately.

Guess HK and i should spend more Father Time at bedtime with Mother Goose ---

it's just these games are so darn late.

Mstones 5.28.06 A Lifetime....for better or worse.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person." Mignon McLaughlin






ok -- here john and i are. Funny thing is this was just last night.

But must confess to you...This wearing the wedding dress thing night after night is getting dreadfully old. But i guess it is better than the nights he comes home from those Civil War reenactments. That 1800's wear is terribly woolen... so hot and itchy.

Yes, those carrying over the threshold moments. That is usually about the time most fairy tales wrap up. You see the beautifully scrolled .....and they lived happily ever after written on movie screen. and curtain up.. lights on. everyone files out of movie theater with slight smiles on faces.

No renting apartments, car payments, mortgages, job stress or fill-in-the-blank.

TV does a little better job of telling the rest of the story. the Cleavers, the Bunkers, the Huxtables, the Barones. They usually are trying somewhat to tell the tale of marriage and family after the honeymoon.


Guess this picture could be like us too, if i were shorter and we were more Sicilian. Since my idea Italian cooking is picking up phone and calling Domino's. This image really doesn't work either.


If truth be told our "Italian nights" usually revolve around another Mediterranean clan. Yes, john is obsessed with (and what man isn't) The Godfather.

For those extra-special Godfather evenings, he usually splurges and takes out from Amici's for he feels like that is more authentic. I really don't mind calling him" Michael" all evening. It's just that we've yet to find common ground on that Horse thing.

Finding common ground.... hmm.

that's where our very engaging and able leader Terry Massey started our Class Discussion today.


Milestone Class 5.28.06 10:theGodfather I, II, III a.m.

It was great to have Aubie Knight with the Mad Mstone crowd today. Know at first glance all us sitting around those round tables -- you might have thought you had wandered into a Texas Hold'em tourney. Well, if you were disappointed thank goodness you never let on.

It was also wonderful to have Matt Gasque back with the Mstone faithful. Your identical twin brother Mark is very nice and i always enjoy mentioning his insights in Update, but i know Kristie is glad -- as we all are -- to have you back as well. You were indeed missed!

Kristie Gasque. Think you win today's award for most coveted dress. i don't know how many comments i heard about it's cuteness -- of course, it could have been that you just looked so darn cute in it. The lady to my right -- won't mention any names (initials M.D.) i think was really going to come to blows with you for it -- if you hadn't made quick dash out door.

Back to class substance.....Terry started us all thinking.. hmm..

Quick reminder of the 5 Love Languages.

Words of Affirmation
Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Gifts

T. Mass asked flock, "Do you ever feel like you are making a lot of emotional deposits into your love's bank, and never getting any thing for your effort?"

This could be a result of a miscommunication of the love languages. Problem is when we aren't having our emotional needs met by our spouse sometimes we might look elsewhere for that attention.



Are we looking in the wrong places (work, church, the Waffle House) or to the wrong person (friends, co-workers, toll booth collectors -- whom i find are often very friendly and tend to be at the same place/time everyday) to fill our emotional needs. hmm?

Well, Terry Massey asked us all what are the LOVE BUSTERS that lie in wait ready to expend massive tolls on our marriage relationships??

Some comments on love buster thoughts:
hurtful words. Confession said by me -- as i am wont to utter before thought.
others said: Insincerity.
excess obligations.
manipulation.

Seems that it goes this way... You might be making all the great Love Bank Deposits into your spouse's emotional bank -- but this won't do any good if other behavior leads to Love Bank withdrawals. Bottom line is some of us need to gain control over destructive behaviors that end up hurting spouse.

Emotional empathy... Thoughtless behavior toward spouse.

Some thoughts from book:

Lack of empathy makes this thoughtlessness possible. Since we don't know what other's feel we tend to minimize the negative effects we have on others. We consider our thoughtlessness no big deal.

Angry Outburst = Creative expression.
Disrespect = viewed as Helping other spouse gain proper perspective.
Demands = Encouraging a spouse to do what they should have done all along.

Problem is the inflicting spouse doesn't feel any pain. but reality is these behaviors are causing other spouse a lot of pain. This constant inconsideration of the other's feeling -- destroys the love that a husband and wife feel for each other. Ouch!

Marriage Love Busters:
Selfish Demands
Disrespectful Judgements
Angry Outbursts
Annoying Habits
Independent Behavior
Dishonesty



to Cabo or not to Cabo.. That is the question:

At this point in class there was a little re-creation of a potential Love Buster moment by the Lewises. They, in very good sport Mstone fashion, walked us through a real life event which involved a lot of relationship combustibles: both sets of parents, Ron and Dena's children, and planned trip of R & D to Cabo San Lucas.

Seemed like this very sticky wicket revolved around who was going to be taking care of their small children during mom and dad's romantic get-away. ok -- when it seemed like we had reached a point in the tale that Dena was going to opt out of trip... Steve Speyer was only too happy to volunteer to accompany Ron.

hmm...You know it could work. Seem to remember both of their love languages was physical touch.

But thankfully the story had already resolved itself. and though the situation had been very stressful on them as couple. In the end, Dena felt like Ron had stood by her and dealt with the problem. Sorry Steve, maybe you and Ron can plan long weekend to Cozumel around Labor Day.

Addendum to Miles' Marriage comments:
At this point in class, Terry mentioned that he had asked some to offer their insights on what makes a good marriage. Seems like john and i were selected and Terry spoke of some of our comments about matrimony that we found worked for us. but really think i need to add part of Miles' insight that wasn't elaborated on in class -- and since am transcribing all this -- i shall:

....in all honesty, there have been major schisms in our married life caused by varying interests and dreams. Some things we have worked through, and others we are still in process of trying to figure out how to deal with. At many different points in our marriage, we both agree we could have very easily:

a. Decided not to let the other pursue their dream
b. made the "offending party" in our minds miserable for going ahead
c. thought, "well, if that's the way you're going to be"; mentally and emotionally checked-out of the relationship.

We agree that our faith in God has always steered us back toward each other -- by dying to our selfish wants and desires and remembering the commitment we made to each other. Ultimately, we made the choice to support the other's dreams as best as we could and make it work -- even though it has been difficult at times.

It is all about choices.

The choice to say the kind thing... or keep your trap closed. Just to think of the other before yourself, darn it!

Thank Terry for great job once again!

Announcements/Prayer Requests

Mstone Pres Pete B. offered this pearl of wisdom/concept at being of class: that we should pray that our children are a blessing to others. This caused Rick Wads to refer to that amazing phenomenon that sooner or later a parent experiences,

"He/she was a joy?" "So well behaved?" yes, we all have been recipient of those wonderful comments about our children's behavior while out of our presence.

Very Invasion of the Body Snatchers -- like little alien beings have landed and inhabited our children's skin at that moment they are out of our orbit.

All this children and blessing talk came back to me upon conversing with Feather Whidby after church. She said that Jeff was visiting and best, best part of all was the great news re Hamp.

Seems he was doing so well the doctors gave him his body scan early -- last week. and in the Doctor's words the results were "Double Excellent!"

Heather said this really was the best they could have expected. He has one more treatment -- then will have follow-up scans every three months.

Praise to God! Please, please keep Hamp, Amy and Jeff in your prayers. Jeff and esp. Amy are so thankful, but emotionally drained from this long haul.

Will have pictures of Hamp with his "good friend" at their 8th grade formal soon.

Now if that news doesn't fill you up with tons of LOVE nothing will!


On a very serious note, the Lewises asked for prayers for the Lindhom family. The couple had tried for years to have a child and the babygirl Kaitlin has been born with a very rare genetic disorder. At this point, the news is not good at all. The doctor's are telling them she has a life expectancy of a few months to just a few years. Please pray for Kaitlin's improved health, strength and for her parents comfort.

Mission Moment...feel really bad. Totally forgot to discuss treasury and giving options. I know there are things that people would like considered as possible beneficiaries -- and time is of essence with these requests. Let's all make sure we discuss this next Sunday. hold on a second..

ok -- just got back inside. It is now officially Memorial Day. The motorcycles have passed. And there were tons of them. just ask Jud and Deidre.. We all kind of got arm cramps from constant waves...

know at least 1000 passed by. how did they all fit in square?

spotted Jamie S. In rear of processional. Guess it was your lucky day to get stuck behind a billion motorcycles rumbling down main. but you were glam addition to parade.

Reminder for those Cookbook recipes.

listening to Sheryl Crow... and thinking about Hamp, the Lindhom family and all of us really. The song Lifetimes.

"We can live lifetimes in a single day
No matter what you do, I love you anyway
You say if you're lost inside, I get lonely, too.
Even in the worst of times, I give my best to you............


Let's all be so thankful for all we've been given this Memorial Day. Always looking to Him from Whom all our many blessing flow. Each day is precious........



Good Week, God Bless....
and here's trying to live lifetimes in a single day for His glory.

Gimme 3 Steps,Gimme 3 Steps, Mister... and i just might be there on time.

"Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio, a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you (woo, woo, woo)

What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson

Joltin' Joe has left and gone away.. (hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey) Simon and Garfunkel


Ok -- when lunch is ice cream eaten straight out of gallon carton (using fork -- conventional wisdom being that one can't possibly be consuming as much with tines) you know it has been one of those days.

Hannah Kate graduated from First Methodist Preschool.

And i had realization i haven't changed all that much since my Winter Park High graduation all those many years ago.

Don't know that much about Joe DiMaggio. Yankee Clipper -- that i do recollect. Married to Marilyn. and the Mr. Coffee ads. no he's not really my generation. No, guess for me today's song -- should be something like..



"where have you gone.....hmm..... Let's see.......Lynyrd Skynyrd?"



FREEBIRD.

The mid-to-later 70s. yes -- where have those days run off to?

Mid-70s. think that the stationwagons were giving way to the vans. not these minis of today. i mean VANs.

Seems like we were all piled in a Olds Cruiser stationwagon or some type of van and heading to the beach this time of year. me, all my girlfriends -- and Scott Birmingham. 10 girls and Scott -- he was the first one old enough to drive and have access to large mode of transportation.

Nothing better than those rides home. All those seats somewhat flattened down. 2 up front with driver Scott, the rest of us crammed in there sitting on metal lined with damp beach towels. sand everywhere. burnt to a crisp. so salty, so gritty and the random lemon seeds that had escaped those constant wide-tooth combings of sticky matted hair. awesome!

Our very late lunch was always a couple of gallons of homemade ice cream from some tiny hole-in-wall place on Hwy 44. 2 gallons of ice cream and 2 spoons shared on way home. Just maybe that's why i found the Blue Bell this afternoon.

Yes, remember her well. That jamie -- sunburned and sand-between-toes. If asked, when will you officially be grown- up? Would have without a doubt said, "by age 37," "yes.. Most definitely by age 37, i will be officially grown-up," Grown-up being code for having my act together.

Think i always carried 37 in back of mind because that was the age would turn in the mythical, magical far off year of 2000. The new millennium. Well -- here i am 6 years later in new century and realize i still have absolutely no semblance of any act even to attempt to get together.

totally Clueless.

yes, HK is graduating in less than half an hour and i realize that once again i have made drastic financial miscalculation re checkbook. Must get online to double-check . no, no time for that. Need just to transfer money out of my savings for don't want to bother john. ok -- no idea how much in secret squirrel savings account at present or the account number for that matter.

search for statement. Thankfully have some resolution re financial crisis. 15 minutes past 10 a.m.

ok -- can forget taking shower. pull out pants. wrinkled.

throw overalls on Joe. Unfortunately grabbed denim pair two sizes too small, but manage to latch the little catches. he has no shirt, he has no shoes. Looks like some little French boy.

my shoes. just where are those sandals? Can only find one. so settle for last year's pair i hate. ugh!

oh that's right -- i just might smell -- where is Ralph? couple squirts. brush through hair --

clock reads: 10:28 p.m. quick check in mirror. look okay -- kind of maybe like i bathed. oh dear. am such a dreadful mess. where are car keys? i had them not an hour ago. say prayer. find keys.

shoeless joe buckled in..check suburban digital ..10:32 a.m.

realization forgot camera. Need to punt on photos. no time..

sunglasses. definitely need them for tears are sprouting from eyes. pull into church parking lot. All the cars already there. even recognize the grandmother's cars. Judy and Nancy. Well, maybe i'll be on time for my granddaughter's moment.

yes. Maybe if i start getting ready today...hmmm

Really nothing's changed since high school. It is a miracle i ever completed a term paper, passed a test or found anything matching to wear. oh yeah. my high-detail wonder mom was there to take care of clothes.

Searching for photo of WPHS found number of web listings. School even has a entry in the Wikipedia. it touted all their "A" rankings. but also found a very dubious mention that alma mater had received number one ranking as top partying high school in nation by Playboy. hmmm...at least you haven't had to worry about that this year Mark.

Good Grief! Where indeed have you gone Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Incredulous. A number one ranking in the list of top partying high schools. No, guess nothing really seems unbelievable anymore.

Makes our ice cream beach runs look so Happy Days. A WPHS alum and friend is now the Principal at Wildcat central. Must ask him about all this Playboy business.

Ok -- back to present. i am Pre-tike's mom. and thankfully one who is able to find seat in sanctuary before the graduates process very proudly in.

All so cute. All so excited. All of life ahead of them.

Looking out at us, bet they think we all look -- for the most part -- so terribly old. Mature, stable -- very act together.

Ok -- Cardwells, you are mature, stable -- very act together. therefore, that is why i whispered to steady photosnapping Joe, "forgot camera. please capture some perfect pics of Hannie on digital."

very adult. so glad he is in charge of at least some of our money.




i guess.









Yes, to all those adorable preschoolers -- we have our act together.

you can tell it by just looking into those little eyes. they scream -- "i trust you. you have it all figured out. there's no need to worry when you are around." hmm..

Joe ran with abandon during ceremony amongst the pews. thanks to Dads steve sarkin, foss and rick wads for each finding the little french one and herding him back to his mom.

Yes, i've become one of "those moms." the ones that let their children run wild in public forums as long as all doors are closed and able to make a visual on curly blonde top every 45 seconds or so.

On second thought.. No, i haven't suddenly turned into that type of mom.

Of course she was always there.

Only as teenager, she was sitting cross-legged, sunburned, licking ice cream off some communal plastic spoon in Scott's car on trek home from beach. No real change with her on inside. Only that calendar is the one that keeps relentlessly changing. And with that the beach-going, spoon sampling-gal's are outsides are changing too. darn it.

In the wisdom of Lynyrd Skynyrd........."and this bird you can not change." "Lord knows i can't change."
They knew the answer along. Go Figure. i can't change.

Well, if that is the case -- i'd better get a lot better at faking it.

Please, please keep it our little secret.

Silver. Gold. and Crate & Barrel

Was out running recently. Intersected with Jeff Davis.

ok -- true confessions. i had been running and was walking a spell for it was dreadfully, middle-of-desert hot. Heard voice coming up quickly from behind. Jeff was running at his usual minus-mach trot -- and said very friendly and unsucking airlike, "come on let's go." i muttered something about being somewhat overheated, but when a fellow Cotton-Patch tri-guy calls one must press on.

On we paced in heat. Waved and spoke to Diane Y. and canine companion -- then as approaching town i had that feeling, "i'm going to be sick." then the wave passed. ok.

Thought... am going to be ok.

But then.. Maybe mixture of oven heat, Jeff's cyber-pace, and my over-zealous attempt at a normal "hi" to Diane which was to compensate for lack of anything left to propel my body forward... It hit me. i am going to be sick. Turn and whisper, "Jeff, i'm going to be sick."

Immediately turned (ultra feminine-like), vomited (ultra dainty-like) into the holly hedge guarding Apple South garage. So sorry Tom.

At which point Jeffrey said, without slightest flinch -- "it happens." then proceeds to tell me about the newest NIKE Astro-sports satellite-communicating sportswatch. All as i am very non-discretely -- wiping at corners of my mouth.

That's what is so great about guy friends.

So uncomplicated. you run, you talk, you puke, you run some more.

Yes, guy friends are great. Kind of like the brothers i never had.

but really nothing on earth can compare (excepting amazing spouse and family) with a true blue, through thick-and-thin girlfriend. The kind you can call in middle of night with anything or call after not talking for months and nothing has changed. They really are one of life's greatest gifts.

Have noticed that one of 3 things usually has to be present for the amazing, enriching, lifetime bonds to develop.

A. Time
b. some crisis/shared emotional event
c. shared faith in God

Recently, had need to call on one of these treasured individuals in my life. As i walk through dining room of Mad house -- all i see is woven rug and chandelier -- with 2 electric "candles" forever dark. A result of my attempt to change flames very incorrectly.

No dining room table. You see my lovely dining room table decided she wasn't fulfilled with carrying the load for fanciful dinner party after dinner party -- and decided to go back to the working world. (who am i kidding the last "dinner party" she hosted was Domino's Pizza and Ingles sheetcake for Jake's sleepover birthday in September. ) Who could blame her for taking up Johnny's very glamorous offer -- go back to work as high profile conference table at mediation center -- in own office 19 floors up with awesome view?

Can't harbor resentment towards her. But as i sat staring at empty space the other day -- realized must mobilize -- for my temporary filing cabinets (also known as tops of washer and dryer) were getting horrendously full. Desperately miss the dining roomer for bill paying, homework, and depository for all paperwork carried across any threshold of this house. And the spin cycle can really reek havoc on my non-existent filing system.

So made the call to one of my best-est and truest bluest. Deborah Silcox. or D-squared as i call her with affection. (deb donaldson-- maiden) Our friendship meets all 3 tests. We have known each other since the second semester of law school when the Lord put us together as roommates.

She was looking for 2 girls for share little house in Decatur. My first roommate had "oop-ed out" under pressure of first semester finals and was a no-show for our 2nd 9 weeks. so i needed communal shelter as well. on surface we really were odd couple.

D2 was former Georgia Junior Miss, All-everything at UGA, carried books in LLBean mondo-tote with initials, knew all the top Atlanta law clerkships, and looked impeccable for every class.

i already knew by this point this law school thing was dreadful mistake, but was too stubborn to leave. Came to class in Chuck Taylors, shorts, wet hair, a t-shirt that had been mutilated with scissors (think Flashdance -- ugh!) and to totally show my ambivalence to the academics -- topped off each stellar ensemble with strand of pearls. That really showed them!

i was hopeless. But thankfully the Lord gave us each other.

She made me study and take this law school stuff somewhat seriously, and i helped her laugh -- because it was hell -- at least 1st year.

Now 20 years later am driving past Buckhead McMansions -- no, now these things are really becoming McCastles -- to rendevous with Deborah. I know without a doubt D2 can navigate the ADAC, Atlanta Interior Design/Antiques showroom culture with the best of them. i needed a table; i called a pro.

and this also was great excuse to spend day with old friend -- one of the "Gold" variety. We saw tons of tables.

As we were driving between one of our many destinations, Deborah asked, "Do you know of a Julie Breithaupt?" She's out in Madison... Social Circle." "I think she has a large bible study she does, and is really involved in her church?"

hmm .. Julie Bridle-up? Imagined some auburn-haired beauty, riding horses through Morgan County countryside. Very Ali McGraw. Potential bible-mgal? really don't think i'd have much in common with her -- but you never know? could be potential friend of the "silver" variety.

on we searched.

We had to laugh remembering the day, D2 came into small Decatur dining nook and tossed envelope from daily mail onto table. "Look at this," Deb queried. i picked up piece and examined. Appeared to be some type of W-2. and it was addressed to our 3rd roomie. "it's a W2," even a very business plebe gal like me could see that. "Look at the return address, " D2 encouraged. ok return address.

hmmm..

it appears as if roomie #3 had been doing a little moonlighting. Margie working away in evenings. guess really should say dancing away.

Saw friend Bob shortly after revelation. "Bob, did you know Margie danced at the Cheetah?"

"Yeah, of course we all know." hmm. "you all know. why didn't anyone tell us?" to which Bob replied, "tell you two, we thought you'd freak."

Oh, how little they knew us. And then we had most fun with the mystery of if all. What nights did she work? Was she amateur or pro status? Wish we could have mustered up enough courage to go take a peak at Marg in action one night. No guess -- like most things probably best left in our imaginations. and make up memories you share with only your golden friends. not like this silver johnny-come-lately Julie Bridle-up.

Well, have to tell Deborah all these tables are nice -- but here's my budget. that's when she made the call to head to Lenox and Crate and Barrel.

yes, all of us graduating together in May -- 18 years ago. Eileen on far left is counsel for University of North Carolina specializing in environmental issues. see all these law school folks were so smart. i was kind of like the good friend, not-so-smart mascot.

love Eileen. she is one who actually talked me into and ran my first 10K with me. Now she is marathon woman. and dabbles in tri-thing. she is golden too.

Yes, with Deborah on the job i just looked and nodded and enjoyed being in the care of a consummate decorator and friend.

Gold friends are the ones -- you can trust with your deepest of deeps. Like moment i was sharing with Madison gold friend Diana B. yesterday. it never fails how God always speaks to me through you. Even though i don't like all your wisdom at times -- i need it and you. yes, hope that silver horsey Julie Bridle-up has been able to make some gold friends.

Golden friends. the ones that you share everything with and you know it stops with them. Every extra-special friend has to die to self a little. Banish any selfish desire to share your heartfelt dreams, struggles and troubles with others.

Think that is why God is important. For only with a sincere faith, can a person really grasp how to begin to truly protect and treasure that friend. seems like everytime i see dear D2 i end-up getting in car and having good cry. this visit -- tears of joy re table -- other tears re conversation about our dealing with mothers. now talk about a relationship.

Well, we settled on a table and chairs. and i have included picture of me at said table -- to dispel any notion that i would not put any gooney snap of myself in blog.

Actually, this is table. ordering chair am sitting in with different fabric. Alan our most helpful sales associate said they will take 16 weeks. oh dear. how can i exist without having massive dinner party for 4 months?

maybe could find this Bridle-gal in phonebook. invite her over for coffee and danish to christen new table.

Deborah broke my Bridle-trance. "Her brother -- julie bridle-up -- teaches at Westminster."

hmmm. Her brother teaches at WESTMINSTER!

Suddenly had lightbulb go off in head reminiscent of those old time newspaper flashes that sat way on top of camera. My mother had one of those babies. When that thing popped -- you saw huge Blue Dots swimming very much like huge swimming pools before eyes for days.

"you don't mean Julie Speyer?"

"oh, that's right, Briethaupt would be her maiden name."

Auburn-haired Ali horseygal, was indeed -- had all along been -- the very fetching golden haired, Jules.

Very funny -- a golden friend along. One that i have shed many a tear, and laugh with.

Please remember to treasure and protect those friendships -- they're God things.

Look forward to having all Mad friends -- gold and silver over to massive fanciful dinner parties soon.

Giddyup! and God Bless.

What is Your Language for Love? Mstone 5.21.06

Milestone Classroom 5.21.06

the love was everywhere. Really couldn't keep people off of each other.

just kidding.

but there were many stones around today -- and i noticed that it was one of those very chatty and social sessions. Seems like all evolved into LIONS for the hour.

Guess everyone really wanted to communicate to the mass stone crowd their thoughts on the way love is best expressed to them.

Terry Massey once again -- was able to somehow control/moderate boisterous crowd. He started all off with reminder of what the five Love Languages according to Gary Chapman are:

Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Gifts

Terry asked these three questions to find out what language unlocks the key to your heart most effectively:

1. What does your spouse fail to do that hurts you the most?
2. What have you most often requested of your spouse?
3. In what way do you regularly express your love to your spouse?

Then once again we broke into groups:

Words: Karen G., Feather, Broadway Joe, Jules, Kristie G., Ruth B., and me.



Physical Touch: Larry A., Joe R., Steve Speyers, Andy Couch, Mark G., Ron L.








Acts of Service: Mary DeVane, Brother Jim, Kat C., Rick W., Julie H., Shelagh, Shelley M., and Lori A.

Quality Time: Dena L. And Chanin.

Gifts: zero

Questions were asked to each group to ponder and all were very responsive. Will go into later. But must confess while at Words table felt that maybe that is not really where i should be.

Kept hearing all the other groups: the touchers, the timers, the servers -- all were making lots of sense.

So this afternoon hunted and found personal copy of Gary's book. re-tested self and re-tested Johnny. Was pretty sure John was still a Quality Timer. But was curious about me.

Well, John came up high Quality Time with Words in second. I knew this still had to be true for one of first things he said to me in the morning on Sunday was that last night was one of the best "date nights" we had ever!

the date
We decided spur of moment to go out. John wanted to let loose in Mustang, it was already late so i suggested we go sit outside by lake at Ritz. It was great night -- great weather, water, great people watching (between the guy singles table and gal singles table, the old wealthies and the " get-a-roomers"), and NASCAR was on at bar for quick checks. But one of the best date nights ever?

but here is how john recounted it this a.m.

"First, great that it was long drive out. " "Great that we were at table and had all that time to talk, great food, great bottle, and then the "great drive home. " He started to go into depth about my drive time hand-holding and various detailed things that i was doing to his hand? hmm..

In hindsight all this uninterrupted time in great atmosphere with constant NASCAR access would be total heaven for a quality time guy.

But as class was going on today was thinking what about last evening last really "Spoke to Me?" Couldn't remember a thing that john said to me as being extra special -- as one would think for word-focused gal. It really was bothersome -- think that is why i pulled out quiz for self.

Well, seemed like i am kind of all four -- and a zero in gifts. Don't think john was surprised as he kind of laughed when i told him i am touch, time, acts and words, but at least he never has to worry about buying me a gift for the rest of my life. Yes, as much as i was ragging the guy-heavy toucher table -- turned out that i was highest in touch as well.

Think there is something to all this -- for what was most memorable to me about the date -- the whole hand thing in car ride home. Now for the record, it was strictly hand-to-hand contact,

But was so happy about this realization. Felt like little lab rat that had proved some great hypothesis.

So if you are doubting what you think might be your language -- re check. For am sure for many reasons our preferred method of expression can change for different seasons of life.

So why is this Love Language thing important?

this is excerpt from Book:
"We have been lead to believe that if we are really in love it will last forever. We will always have the feeling we have at this moment. Nothing could ever come between us. Nothing will overcome our love for each other. Our love is the most wonderful thing we have ever experienced."

"Unfortunately, the eternally of the "in love" experience is fiction, not fact. Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again."

Welcome to the real world of marriage.

So how does all this love language talk fit in this real world, feet on the earth, day-in-day-out marriage?

It is all about our emotions. Not a temporary emotional high -- from "falling in love" -- but a "real love." A love that unites emotion and reason. Not a love by instinct, but a love by reason and choice.

Chapman continues: Married adults long to feel affection and love from their spouses. Now that the obsession phase of "falling in love" has passed, real love begins with an attitude . "i'm married to you and i choose to look out for your interests."

Well what do Mstones have to say about all this?

Words: Karen G. And Jules both said that notes and the written word was important to them. Biblical reference: 1 Corinthians 13.

Touchers: basically they like physical affection. Song of Solomon.


Acts of Service: They don't like to have to tell you, "the trash needs to be taken out." if you know what they would like - what is on their list -- and then you do that. Rather than cutting the lawn, taking care of children or doing 10 loads of laundry might be "act" that really says, "i love you."

Bible: Jesus washing the feet of the disciples and Martha's running around.

Quality Time: Chanin: it could be just running together. Dena: just sitting talking one on one -- no interruptions/distractions.

Gifts: If this is your language, you think of gifts as visual symbols of thought. It doesn't matter if it cost money. It is the thought in securing the gift and the giving of it that is the expression of love.

Remember once when Jake was in Preschool, i saw a little Saturn 5 rocket model and thought of him. Bought it and gave it to him when i picked him up from Preschool. He came home and put it on the shelf by his bed and said, "everytime i look at it i will remember how much you love me."

Terry reminded all that it is very natural for us to be fluent in our native language -- but how difficult is it to be a conversational wiz in foreign tongue?

Next week we will look indepth at how all this affects marriage. How when we are in the real world love phase -- we need to make sure we are helping to make deposits into our spouses emotional bank by speaking his or her love language. Not constantly making withdrawals.

Thanks Terry!

Announcements

Able Mstone treasurer, Chanin, announced that we have $6538.00 in our account. WOW!

Now all class members agreed to lift up a prayer each day this week that the Lord give us wisdom in how to share this bounty as blessing to others.

That wild and crazy guy Larry Angel was back in class. He will be hanging around Mad till Tues. Have fun guys!

Prayer Requests

Keep John Thompson in prayers as he had -- what sounded like very painful -- neck surgery last week. He is doing ok -- and we pray for his continued recovery and comfort.

Heather's father, Bill Cadel, was in a car accident on Friday. He is going to need other tests to make sure he is 100% ok. Please keep him in your prayers.

Chanin's mother is on the mend from knee surgery. We pray her recovery is a speedy and uneventful one.

God Bless, Good Week and
here's to becoming fluent in your love's language.

This Bud's for You -- Dale, Sr.

May 19 th. a red letter day!

have George Strait on...

really what could be better soundtrack for today?

a holiday really.

wonder why all the children are in school and businesses not closed?

After all, last time checked we are in deep South, and today is the day set aside for lovers of incredible speed, bright color, unparalleled sport's pageantry and good old in your face unabashed USA commercialism, marketing and free enterprise.

NASCAR DAY!

Remember when our family was heading out Madway, John sat all 3 of us down and said that he felt that it was important for us to assimilate as quickly as possible to small town life. Didn't want us to stick out in anyway. So that very night, we all did a little soul-searching, prayer and each made the decision.

Just who was going to be our driver. Yes, whose number was going to be proudly displyed on front license plate or stuck in the back window of auto.

ok -- John and Jake immediately jumped in the Jeff Gordon camp. Don't know much about this NASCAR business, but do know he is very good driver -- and a very popular one. Flipside of that it seems there are a lot of folks out there who fall into the anti-Gordon camp.

bumper sticker seen by John on trek to ATL:
Fans
Against
Gordon

Jeff's remarked re ANTI-Dupont Chevy pack, "When you pull into victory lane, it makes you feel good you just ruined their day."

Hannah Kate is in Jeff's tribe as well. She has decided that she is going to marry him. Guess anything is possible for he is single at present.

Just had indepth interview with "I was NASCAR fan way before NASCAR was cool" fan Melissa Broach. Really couldn't stop her once she got going on about her boys. When i asked her driver of choice -- she broke favorites into many categories: best driver, biggest bad boy, best all around good guy.


Her number one all-around favorite lead-foot was #55 Michael Waltrip in the NAPA Auto Parts Dodge.. Seems he is avid marathoner and has combined love of running with charity "Operation Marathon." This supports a number of causes --- one of the main ones being VICTORY JUNCTION. A camp similar to our own Twin Lakes for children with chronic illnesses. see what i mean about her being a wealth of information.

Wow! Melissa -- now he is good choice.

i just always liked him because he was vTvDvH (very tall, very dark and very handsome.) yes, i usually base such important decisions on such very surface reasons. just makes life a little easier. The #5 looks really cool written twice -- #55 -- esp. when slanted to left real fast like. and who doesn't look good in royal blue? Yes, he would be good one to align with but, i seem to be drawn like magnet to.........



the bad boys. yes, if had to narrow down to my personal guy guess would have to fall into the Tony Stewart #20 fan stands.

He is good driver and has a very loose , very orange Home Depot Chevy.

"Loose " is when the car's front tires are getting better grip on the racetrack than the rear tires. Experts say a car that is set-up to be a little bit loose is generally faster.

loose cars and loose women -- guess both set-ups are generally a bit faster than models the average guy drives.

These crazy NASCAR guys. Their crazy NASCAR terms. They think of everything.

But all this NASCAR talk reminds me of a mystery. kind of like my own little CSI moment. Think i could call it the NASCAR Flag Mystery. Yes, it was so Nancy Drew.

One summer we returned home from beach to our little house on Main and this is what we spied upon pulling into drive...



yes, while we were away. This INTIMIDATOR banner had mysteriously leapt up to eaves and was proudly proclaiming our allegiance to Dale, Sr.

OK -- we had been gone for 2 weeks.

first thought crossing mind was -- "how long had that thing been up there?" Now will acknowledge am one to hang all types of flags from flagpole not rafters. but really did have to laugh when Julie Vice said, "Well, i just thought it was just one of your flags." good grief!

Just what were people thinking? Guess really could have made lots of new NASCAR friends. but hmmm..

But whole thing was terribly odd. i mean i do fly lots of different flags, but this was a first. A spontanteously appearing cloth placard -- and for Dale? This was my own little River Heights mystery. What would teen sleuth Nancy do? Call in Dad Carson Drew or on boyfriend Ned Nickerson for help?

No, think Nancy would tackle this poser with her own usual plucky, independence. Yes, what to do first. Look for clues? Make list of suspects? Unload the car?

Well, a quick survery of the scene reveal a few things. Flag was very high. hmm.. must have taken a ladder. Was placed dead-on center of porch by very nice brass tacks -- a high detail person. with a lot of time on their hands. Had to have most probably done under cover of night for was highly visable location. Then really the most puzzling of all -- the NASCAR connection?

Looking at all my clues listed on my notepad -- needed to come up with list of possible perpetrators. All though new at detective game -- quickly came up with list of suspects.

1. Steve Speyer
2. Mark Rafferty
3. Rob Jones
4. Random, renegade Intimidator proselyte.

First call was to Speyer. I wondered how best to make him fold, confess, spill all the details. "Did I do what?" "Hang a Dale Earnhardt flag where?" ok -- either my skills as sleuth were suspect or the real suspect had no clue. I mean after all he did know we had been out of town. i pressed harder.

"Jamie, think about it." "If i was going to hang anything wouldn't it be a Georgia Flag?" That did make sense. Yes, why would Steve hang a NASCAR Flag -- and the main thing was he was so darn far away. That part didn't make any sense. Turned search closer to home.

Mark R. High detail. Don't pilots of major aircraft always seem to have clipboards in hands checking off things before flight. At least i like to imagine so. NASCAR? John was in phase of joking about being fan in bible stuff he was doing at time -- know Mark could have been to some of that. Time on hands. Well -- if not traveling -- Mark just always seemed to appear, on bike -- on foot -- to discuss some type of theological poser with John. Yes, he could be He? But then Ladder? Didn't really see Mark balancing large metal climber as he pedaled down street undercover of darkness with black flag tucked under arm.

Yes, that left Rob. Now he had proximity. Knowledge that we were out of town. I knew Trish and children gone -- therefore, he had time on hands. Detail person. Well, he is lawyer, graduated from Georgia Tech, and from casual obeservation knew he like to build the occasional swingset and storage shed -- therefore, access to brass tacks and ladder. Rob. Yes -- could be him. But the NASCAR connection? All my evidence was so circumstancial.

So for many months The NASCAR Flag Mystery remained unsolved. Grew quite cold really.

Then a break in the case. Yes, if junior crime fighter keeps senses heightened -- even the most calculating, Georgia Tech mastermind -- makes a little slip-up.

Yes, one day months later i saw it. After some major Football/basketball victory -- there it was -- a GA TECH banner hanging in from of Jones central. Not by flag pole --but up on eaves, dead center with door. The same exact position as our Dale Flag. I had my man!!

So i waited. waited. and waited very patiently. total calculation. waiting for the moment to make my move. Am sure the INTIMIDATOR himself would have been proud.

Finally, months later -- heard Jones were leaving town. so i plotted, planned and then one night -- think it was Halloween actually -- stole over late after trick-or-treaters. I hoisted insanely heavy metal ladder, gathered black flag and somewhat weaved and teetered across street like some under-the-influence Grinch who had mixed-up his holidays. set up the ladder and hung up Dale. and waited.

Jones returned. Flag came down. and Nothing. Nothing. hmm.... very anti-climatic i must confess. and really until this very moment it hadn't occurred to me that maybe my gut had been wrong -- maybe Rob is totally clueless why they came home to find Dale on the Porch Pole Position. oh dear. Maybe really should consider case unsolved.

Disappointing revelation -- and irony coming on NASCAR Day. No, no won't let it spoil all the Fun of the Holiday.

Yes, i know what would make me feel better. Go out in Mustang on 441 and find someone to "bump draft." Heard you can really go fast that way.

Guess like Darrell Waldrip said, "No bigger surprise to be tooling along at 200 MPH and suddenly get hit from rear!" Now i want to party with that guy.

Guess my sleuthing career is stalled -- but the Boys will be in Charlotte tomorrow running under the lights. This one is for you Dale. i really now kind of wish i had kept your flag. Could have actually displayed on pole on porch today to mark Holiday.

Am thinking of you. Hope you had great day banking around that big Oval in sky.